that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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