i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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