Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
