Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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