Can Purell be used as lube?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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