I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
