he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
