there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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