The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
