I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
