how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
