Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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