we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just cropdusted the office
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
