having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
