There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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