in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
