new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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