I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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