it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
