why didn't you poke me back
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
