We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Farmville is her only friend.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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