ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
