We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Life is so much better after having sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
