There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize