Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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