I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
