Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
