Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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