i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
