I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
