You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
