I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Will you blow on my dice?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
