My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
