He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
