I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
