Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
