i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
FUCK WHALES
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
