I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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