Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
someone owes me an orgasm
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
