Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
