Someone shit on the floor
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
