Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
