that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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