I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
