We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
