i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
