I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize