you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
