You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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