There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
