she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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