she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
